I've been thinking a lot lately about authenticity when beginning new relationships--romantic, professional, friendships--and the ways in which I am not completely authentic. I recognise that in some situations, compromise must be made--esp if it's livelihood we're talking about, cuz rent needs to get paid.
I was talking with Muffin last night about ways in which we mask certain parts of our personalities because we want to be 'nice' or 'make a good impression' when beginning new relationships, and how I feel this isn't something that works for me. I also saw a post on Tumblr that said something to the effect of, "There's no point in hiding parts of ourself form the other person--it's going to come out eventually." She agreed and added that if there are parts of our personality we feel need to be hidden, then it's probably something that needs to be worked out anyway, because those behaviours are impacting our current relationships as well.
Wisest Muffin.
Since this conversation, I've been thinking a lot about parts of my personality that I mask, and I notice it's mostly my moodiness and my snark. I've been doing so less as I get older, because I recognise that not everyone can keep up. But I 'm also reflecting on different tactics I use to let folks know what they're getting themselves into. Directness is probably the best method I've found, as well as doing my own investigation to figure out the roots of my moodiness and snarkiness--mainly social anxiety.
Most folks are pretty receptive when I tell them, and that releases the pressure I feel to 'perform' or 'behave' and those aren't usually big issues in our relationship--unless I engage with gluten, which is guaranteed to release the moodiest, snarkiest Aurien.
Still working on that.
I was talking with Muffin last night about ways in which we mask certain parts of our personalities because we want to be 'nice' or 'make a good impression' when beginning new relationships, and how I feel this isn't something that works for me. I also saw a post on Tumblr that said something to the effect of, "There's no point in hiding parts of ourself form the other person--it's going to come out eventually." She agreed and added that if there are parts of our personality we feel need to be hidden, then it's probably something that needs to be worked out anyway, because those behaviours are impacting our current relationships as well.
Wisest Muffin.
Since this conversation, I've been thinking a lot about parts of my personality that I mask, and I notice it's mostly my moodiness and my snark. I've been doing so less as I get older, because I recognise that not everyone can keep up. But I 'm also reflecting on different tactics I use to let folks know what they're getting themselves into. Directness is probably the best method I've found, as well as doing my own investigation to figure out the roots of my moodiness and snarkiness--mainly social anxiety.
Most folks are pretty receptive when I tell them, and that releases the pressure I feel to 'perform' or 'behave' and those aren't usually big issues in our relationship--unless I engage with gluten, which is guaranteed to release the moodiest, snarkiest Aurien.
Still working on that.
No comments:
Post a Comment