Nighttime Love Language

I've started having sleepovers with one of my roommates. We often end up chatting late into the night and it's just easier to lay down in one or the other's bed rather than trekking to our respective rooms. We both also sleep more soundly when we share beds with other people.

This morning, as I dragged my body out of bed and down the stairs to my room at the heathen hour of 7am, I began to reflect on what it means to share a bed with someone. I mean, when we are asleep, that is one of the most vulnerable states we are in. All a person's defences are down and they are completely open. What does it mean to share this vulnerability with someone? What does it mean when they share it with you?

It's so deeply intimate and I'm beginning to think this is why I hated sharing a bed with anyone as a child, and why I'm so wary of sharing a bed with someone as an adult.

But sharing a bed with my roommate feels completely comfortable.  Is it because we're both INFPs? Is it because we've already shared so many intimate, vulnerable conversations? Is it because we both try really hard to communicate clearly and openly with each other? Is it because we both give and receive love through physical touch?

Hmm, I think I need to gather more data in the form of sleepovers. I'll report back soon.

Inside Joke

Lately, I've been reflecting a lot on interactions that I am a part of, where there are a group of people who have shared similar experiences and they are discussing them and don't provide context for those of us who weren't there and essentially have no idea what's going on.  

I've been thinking about how this can be/is really exclusionary and how it's something I experienced a lot when I first moved to Oly, when nearly everyone I knew were friends with other people and how they would often talk about things I had no context for. Most times I  felt unwelcome and unwanted, and other shitty feelings. 

I've also been thinking a lot about how I inadvertently--or otherwise--close people out of conversations by not giving a little background knowledge. I try to be super conscious when there are new folks in a group of people I'm familiar with. I often just avoid talking about things that need a lot of contextualising because I can talk about those things later.  And there are new people I should be making an effort to get to know.  Or this is what my home training tells me. 

I also think about people I know who are really great at enfolding new people into their friend groups and making them feel really welcome. I try to model my inclusionary behaviours off of them. It's an art, and definitely one I need to practise more.  Some folks I know could do with a few lessons as well....

I Love a Mom

I'm making a pie!! It is a very special occasion.  I'm going to a Superbowl party tomorrow--yeah yeah 'Go Hawks!' or whatever. But really, the important part is who will be there.  A mom I've had a mom-crush on since Turkey Day weekend.

She's kind and engaging and so East Coast. Plus, she totally opened some doors for me when I was panicking about grad school. I need to express my gratitude, thus pie.

I love moms and moms love me. I'm nice and respectful, I ask questions, do my own dishes, and see them as people, not just "my friend's mom".  Plus, the have the best dirt on friends and TONS of hilariously embarrassing stories.

I'm here for it.

Like, "Let me put the kettle on for you Ms. So-n-so. You should go get the photo album(s), because I'm totally interested in hearing stories about how my friend used to 'insert cute, but hilariously embarrassing behaviour here'. No, really, tell me everything."

And they make bomb food and have really great, insightful advice.

I'm definitely here for it.