Nurtrition

I was in the car with some friends recently and we began discussing evolutionary diets. The specific topic was how certain individuals are better suited for specific types of foods based on their ancestry. And it really got me thinking (again) about nutrition and how much shit we ingest on a daily basis that would have made our ancestors sick.

I plan on keeping a food journal for the next 40 days to catalogue what I eat, how frequently I eat and to see if there is correlation based on what I ingest and my mood/well-being. If all goes well, I'll get a bit on insight into my illusive moods and hopefully get a regulatory hold on them. At the worst, I'll realise how badly I need to eat more vegetables. They make me happy.

During this conversation about food and nutrition, I mentioned that there is a company in Sarasota, FL that will take a cheek swab and give you your ancestry, in percentages. For example, I might be 50& African, 25& European and 25% Native American. One of my friends, my wise old OWL, said that she'd entertained thoughts of the testing, before she found out that the company that we would be handing our DNA over to is a huge conglomerate that would most likely be conducting tests with our cells.  That was a little off-putting, esp after reading Michael Crichton's Next.

I reckon that I can do a bit of research and find a jumping-off point as far as a diet that works for me. It will probably consist of fewer dairy products (>__<), but I've got to expand my palate. :( On the bright side, that means recipe searches and cooking, both of which I love. I love coking. I wish my kitchen was cleaner so I would be more inclined to do more of it. But alas, that is another blog.

Lonliness

Just because one is alone, doesn't mean one is lonely. Conversely, just because one is surrounded by individuals, doesn't prevent one from experiencing loneliness.

Loneliness has been creeping in the shadows lately, and today it struck. On the long bus ride home, I had  chance to examine it. Or rather I should say, I was too tired to fight it off any longer, so I thought about it. :P

I am lonely for companionship. This isn't the first time I've experienced it, but it's for companionship greater than friendship. Hmm...  Or maybe I just need to meet some new people.

The loneliness I feel is also tinged with loss, because I just ended a budding relationship. All of the 'what ifs' and 'could-have-beens' still linger. I just need a bit of time....

But now that I am home, in my room, in my bed, alone, I have been thinking how relaxed and relieved I feel. And suddenly not so lonely. 

Therapy

I've been thinking recently about therapy, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

Whilst in the Black Hole, there was much talk of therapy and therapists and how much they help.  Now, I understand how much help counselors can be; it's not that I disagree. It's just that I know, no matter how unbiased and objective a therapist claims to be, their own values undoubtedly affect their advice.

And I would much rather have someone I know well and who knows me giving me advice rather than a professional stranger. Just sayin'

But who knows. Maybe in a few years I'll be a place where I feel that someone with professional conflict resolution and critical thinking skills could help me is an appropriate avenue for me to take to get the help I need.  And then I think about how many people I already know with those skills who are friends of mine.... The lesson here is: become friends with people with communication skills so they can counsel you for free. Working smarter, not harder. ;}

Distracted

I haven't posted in over a month. :( But I had good reason: I was lost in a Black Hole, literally.  I'm still a bit worn, but well on my way to recovery.

I've been wandering around academically as I tried to refocus my independent learning contract from comparing and contrasting the experiences of queer people of colour and white queers, to Black queer studies. And also, realising that 1) I do not do well without academic structure, and 2) learning about Black queer studies is not something I need to do in an academic environment. 

I've also relocated my residence to a place closer to downtown, so that shaved off a helluva lot of stress, as far as commuting and long walks home at midnight are concerned. My roommates are more active than the last ones, but this is still the adjustment period. At least there's a cat and a dog to cuddle. :)  And later on, my rats!! D

Around 01 February  I was taken in by a Black Hole. It was fun for a while, but eventually the stress and the pressure became too much. I'm just thankful that I had enough wherewithal to get out of it before I lost myself. I learnt a lot about myself and what I can handle and definitely increased my emotional awareness.  I may not be perfect (then again, who is?), but I've got my shit a lot for together than some folks walking around today.  It's always about learning and growing; there is always something positive to take away form any situation. 

Well, now that I'm on the other side of all of these experiences, I feel renewed and rejuvenated. I remember what I'm in Olympia to learn and do, and where I'm getting ready to go.  

Deterred, but not derailed!