Non-Threatening

On days like today, I'll be getting dressed, and I'll look down at the clothes I'm putting on and remember that society has attached a gender to these pieces of fabric, male

And then I'll think to myself 'Black male,' and I'll think 'non-threatening' because it seems like so many of the white folks I interact with get all stirred up about how I look like a Black male.

And I get really pissed off at my socialisation that makes me think 'non-threatening' because I have to--in order to keep my job, to get service in stores--I have to smile and use White American vernacular english and move my body in certain ways that make white people look at me and think 'non-threatening'.

And it just makes me so fucken tired, and want to crawl back into bed and pretend that my blankets provide me shelter from the societal shitstorm I live everyday as a Black trans* person.

But instead I'll make this post and make myself a turkey sandwich and try to forget about these words I've just typed.