Taste of Mortality

(Mostly) Composed Wednesday, 11 July 2012

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Two Sundays ago, I was involved in three bike accidents.

The first was caused by my own stupidity, and I paid for it, with a twisted shoulder, a cut finger, a scraped calf.  I've never actually tumbled off my bike in the... two accidents I've had since I started riding a bike.  It wasn't as bad as  it could have been.  IF the soreness at the base of my skull was any indication, wearing my helmet definitely saved me a more serious cranial injury.  What smarted the most, was guilt of having caused the entire accident and hurting a friend.  :/

The second was a driver's fault, when she failed to use her turn signal and I managed to stop myself with my front brake--the downside was I also slammed my left knee into coarse gravel.  I'm still feeling that injury.  What really shook me up was the casual recklessness of others

The third involved the serious injury of a friend, though they're well enough now.  At the time though, it was all I could do to remain calm in a situation completely out of my control.  The only thing that kept me rooted was channeling the Strength of my mother; she always manages to keep a cool head when shit gets real, and it was fucken real that afternoon.  It was a few days later that I learnt later someone else I know (who's quickly finding a place in my Heart) suffered brain damage in his bike crash, a few days before.

Blood and Brains.  These accidents remind me that nothing is permanent and that tomorrow people I Love and Care about may not be here. I may not be here.  How would it be if they didn't know and I never got the chance to tell them?  Could I live with the regret of having held in my words and emotions for rear of rejection, embarrassment? Reciprocity?