Respect

These last few weeks, I've had the word 'respect' hurled in my face numerous.  The hurling has been done by individuals I don't particularly care for.  However, I have been reflecting on my evolving relationship with the word respect.

I can honestly say my mother's attempts to teach me respect as a child failed. Sorry Maisy.  I behaved respectfully towards adults, as a child, but never had any models of respect looked like.  It wasn't until I was in high school that I was given respect by my own rights.  Only then did I truly learn what is was and was able to give and show respect for others

As I've gotten older, my threshold for bullshit has lessened along with my ability to maintain respect for assholes.  I say that as if I had such a huge capacity for it before ... Anyway....

These past few months have shown a record-low in tolerance of ignorance and asshattery.  My temper is short and my willingness to accommodate idiots is even shorter.  Which might have led certain individuals to find my behaviour 'disrespectful'.  I cna't help but scoff because these individuals who have been subject to my 'disrespect' are also finding themselves experiencing a break with their reality and bumping up against their privilege(s).  It's always difficult to imagine Life through another's lens and when folks realise that everything is not as it seems, it (naturally) rocks their boat.  Also, I recognise the signs because I've been working through the areas I hold privilege and as an agent, it's reflex to deflect and project our feelings and actions of discomfort onto the target group.  Been there, done that, and I'm even taking a program where I get to see others work out their shit three times a week!

This is normally the part of the essay where I give unsolicited advice, but I'm really working on not doing that anymore.  So I guess I'll just say, I hope they get where they need to be along the awareness spectrum. I'm not responsible for the education and/or consciousness of others.  I'm letting it go.