Other People's Advice, Round 2

I recently wrote about how I am often mistrustful of others' advice when it comes to identity-specific conflicts in my life, like being a Black FAAB person raised in the South. That's a very... unique experience, esp living so far from the South and its very distinct cultural way of being.

But

Yesterday I got really great advice from a newer friend about co-parenting, which has been at the forefront of my mind for the last... two weeks(?).  He is the first person I've encountered that is co-parenting a non-bio child with a close friend who he's not romantically involved with.  He ran me through his experience--how it was kind of a running joke, but when shit got real, he stepped in and now shares his child with the baby's mom and her past partners.  It was really cool to hear how they're all still figuring out what co-parenting means and are really flexible about making sure the folks who want to be involved with the baby are.  And also, the plans my friend is making with the mama about future children and what that would look like for their relationship.

Ugh, can I just--all the feels!! I love when folks are really intentional about kids and raising children and making sure everyone involved has their needs met. And I love that it's something new for everyone involved but they're communicating intentionally and deeply about how to do it so it feels right.

:le sigh:

It was a really inspiring conversation and has me thinking more deeply and critically about my motivations for co-parenting and who I want to co-parent with and what that could potentially look like/be structured like.


This friend also listened to my dilemma--of finding someone who I think I'd co-parent really well and how to propose such an idea to.  He's really good, and thoughtful and intentional, so I trust his advice. We also share a deep love for children and that's a connecting common denominator.

Anyhow, this friend advised me to bring it up casually, in a joke-like manner.

....

And there is the answer to the riddle.  

He also advised me to move to the Bay sooner than later (like in the next two months) and is even helping me out in the job hunt, and offered to be a faux reference. At first, I brushed off his suggestion, but twenty minutes later I'm fantasising about how this can all work out. And it seems to be... all working out.

....

Other people's advice. Sometimes it actually is the little nudge you need out of the door