Intuition, Again

... holy shit.  Today my Intuition showed me just how powerful and accurate it is....  Let me paint the scene.

Yesterday, during my wait for the #48 to leave downtown, I was journalling (like always) and thinking about a certain someone.  I was writing about how I hoped to see them, then stopped myself. If I want something, I need to state it, not wish upon a falling star. Wishing does not get you any closer to your goal.  So I stated that I would see so-n-so.  And I did.  The only downside was that because I made my statement so vague, I was left unfulfilled. What I actually wanted was more of an interaction, not a cameo.  Call me greedy, but I want it all and I want it now.  Like Now, as in five minutes ago.  Oh Gemini....  Anyhow.

Today, as I was waiting for the #41 to make its way up the Westside Hill, I Listened in again, and made my statement more specific: that I would see so-n-so and catch up briefly.  I wanted to state more, but I had to keep the greediness in check. But something else I Heard was that I would see so-n-so during my evening walk through my neighborhood.

Fast forward to my day, when I see and catch up briefly with so-n-so.  o__o

Fast forward to my evening walk through my neighborhood, when I see so-n-so.  O__o

I was/am appalled.  I'm also a little frightened by this accuracy.....  I nearly fell down in the street I was so shocked.  I was reduced to mere babbles as I wandered the Eastside, wondering at my Intuition.  I mean... wtf??  And then I remember that my mum always talked about having the gift of foresight.  My sister too. What the hell is going on?!  :deep breath:

As I made my way back down the Eastside Hill, I asked my Intuition about this weekend's trip to LA and the QPOCCon.  ... Well, I don't want to spoil that answer right now, but I'm going to try and make the most of this adventure.

Needless to say, after yesterday's and today's showing, I'm going to Listen in more often. I feel that after nearly 25 years, I'm finally tapping into the flow of my Intuition.  And my, what interesting things it has to say.

Sensitive

As I become more comfortable with myself, I's relearning how to Feel.  And something I've concluded is that I'm severely emotional.  Heh, I say it like it's an affliction. -___-

But in all seriousness, I've been going with the emotional drift... and frankly it's exhausting.  This reminds me of being a kid and Feeling so much, but not being allowed to express any of it.  And if I did, oh the flogging I would get. But that's another entry.

I have to say I like being more in tune with my Intuition and thus my emotions. It helps me avoid drama, or at least reduce its occurrence.  Well, that's what I tell myself....

Procrastination

It's that time of the quarter again. I have assignments due (ok, overdue) and I'm playing Bejeweled and listening to Morrissey.

This quarter has been so amazingly disappointing.   The class I was (am) in had all the makings of an a challenging, stimulating quarter-long dialogue about how different populations throughout United States' history have been excluded and/or marginalised and how that discrimination plays out in contemporary society. I was stoked for the class, I actually read the books (that never happens).... and then I ind out I had signed up to waste my $6000 of out-of-state tuition.

I'm still seething. If anyone reads this blog and wants an in-person rant of how abysmally disappointing this program has been, I'll buy you the hot beverage and you can listen to me rage. If I could go back... I'd be in ReInterpreting Liberation. I'm not as focused on international movements, but if it meant I wouldn't have lost brain cells, I'd've taken it.

That being said, I have a research paper due tomorrow as well as presenting my research and I have a three-page assignment due for my two-credit class. And I'm still listening to Morriseey and playing Bejewled. I might start cleaning my room in order to continue procrastinating.  Mmm or just eat more LaraBars.  Ok, maybe that's not such a great idea. I'm turning into a sedentary individual. -___-  Hey! Maybe I can make a workout schedule for Spring qtr!  Yes, then that will continue my procrastination while also being constructive.  Gemini power!! ^_^

Considerate

This might be a hatepost, but lawd if I am not surrounded by INconsiderate folks in this town!

I am always irked when people don't hold doors, for myself or anyone else.  Maybe it's because I was raised in the South, maybe it's because I was raised Black, but not holding doors open for folks, but especially females and elders was subject for some dirty looks and a scolding if you caught the wrong person. It remains one of my biggest pet peeves.  You are not in that much of a rush as to not be able to hold a damn door open five more seconds.  And if you are, yell "Sorry!" over your dam shoulder.

I don't know if it's just the rain or the gray days that all blur together, or the fact that I'm so far from Southern Hospitality that there seems to be a lack of consideration nowadays, at least in the circles I run in.  And maybe I need to do a bit of trimming of those circles.  Hmm.....

Intuition

"The more you listen, the stronger it becomes...."

Lately I've been hearing some interesting things... Mostly, that the people around me aren't really digging my company.  And it's a little irritating considering how much of my energy I give, but it also smarts to know people aren't as invested in relationships as I am.

This is definitely a pattern in my life, and I've still yet to figure out the pieces that create it....

I could hypthesise all day on the connections, but that is an activity best saved for the privacy of The Cave. :/

Sleep

I haven't been sleeping through the night for the past week and some.  It's annoying, because I have a feeling it's affecting my daytime endurance.  I've been having a really hard patch with emotional health lately, and sleep is the only reprieve I get nowadays.

I know lack of physical activity isn't helping.  Neither is going to bed with a full head, facing so much gender identity static during the day and not eating well enough. Sad gemini.

But maybe this weekend I'll drug myself and get more than four hours in a row.  Maybe