Polyamoury

I've been musing a lot on polyamoury these last month or so.

It began with a simply comment from a friend about how they viewed relationships as meaningless, much as they view marriage to be void of purpose.  After much prying, I managed to wring out of them that their true view of relationship was the mainstream, heterosexual, patriarchal one.  ... Well duh. It wasn't made to function in any type of healthy, communicative, egalitarian manner.

As the conversation continued, Friend and I moved into the realm of polyamoury. I'm currently reading The Ethical Slut, for the second time.  Although for the first go-round, I didn't really get more than a few chapters in because my Mind was in pain from being ripped open, and I gave it a rest. After talking with Friend, I'm back for a second shot, and I'm so into it.

What I really love about TES is that many of the ideas and concepts can be applied to any type of intimate relationship: friendships, romantics, casual, etc.  It's so... trans-...  multi-applicable.  I don't believe it's a word, but it is now! ;)

Ways to avoid and handle jealousy; how to distribute your love and affection to many individuals; how to create a network of love and support... and that's as far as I've gotten. :)  But it's very practical information.  And it's making me rethink the ways that I approach relationships, in general, not just intimate romantic ones.

It's also making me rethink the rule of romantic lovers being "everything" to their partner.  That seems a recipe for failure, putting all of ones eggs/cookies/crayons in one basket. Hmm...  It's actually quite interesting, because a few years ago I experienced the failure firsthand with a friend, whose priorities re-adjusted, leaving me S-O-L. And that's when I realised it was better to spread support out than clump it together.  Hard lesson well learned.

I'm certain the next intimate, romantic relationship I enter will need to be much more flexible than the ones I've experienced in the past.  Now I just need to figure out a way to convey all of this, eloquently yet concisely.