Are You a Drama Qween?

So you think you're a drama qween?  Are you an aspiring drama qween but are lacking that certain over-the-top zing with your quip? Well, lucky you've stumbled upon this post!

I identify as a Drama Qween. I'm Southern, I'm a Gemini, and I am a natural embellisher. Some people call it lying.  Pshaw! It's colourful storytelling!!  It's the difference between 'what happened' and 'my story about what happened'.  And I'll tell you now, ain't nobody interested in 'what actually happened'.  If you have an audience, entertain them! Leave them laughing--it releases endorphins and builds community.

Ready to try your hand at being a Drama Qween? Maybe you need an entry in the wide Drama Qween world that awaits you? An easy first step is dramatic responses to minor disappointments.  We'll start here because one of the secrets to being a successful Drama Qween  is utilising even the smallest ripple of emotion to blow things way out of proportion.  Whereas the average citizen would reply with something standard (read: boring), Drama Qweens of all levels recognise potential for a sassy comeback.

The key to coming up with the perfect dramatic response is to totally submerge yourself in the emotion of the moment.  Imagine that, iterally,your Heart will not go on--sorry Celine Dion--and that you will crumple into a pile of moist, snotty emotion right then and there.  Your vision begins to blur.  Your knees go weak.  You press the back of your hand to your forehead or you make a clutch for the pearls.  You take a shaky breath. You give a deep, Drama Qween sigh*.  And--this is key--you're a little bitter.

It's the bitterness that really drives the drama. Too much, and you come across as spiteful, and thus detract from your drama.  Too little, and your delivery can be lackluster and that simply won't do.  It's a careful balance. Recognise that every situation is different; find the level of bitterness that works for you.

Can you feel the drama yet? Have you captured the mood of disappointment and bitterness and are ready to release your quip? Yes?  Excellent!

It was in a moment like this that I managed to come up with this gem of a response when so-n-so told me that our date had to be rescheduled because they 'had class':

"Gawd, well there goes my week. How can I go on?? I'll just... throw myself into the Puget Sound and let the tide carry me out to sea. Look for me on the 11 o'clock news...."

Although this message was delivered via text, I still maintained the ritual. It's important to do so even if your audience isn't able to see you. It helps get your mind in the moment. The mark of a quality Drama Qween is that technology does not hinder you--your message should be able to cross all mediums for a crisp, succinct, and Drama Qween-worthy delivery.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to be a Drama Qween? Let me know in the comments.

*Thank to my good friend Sonny for reminding me that you need the deep Drama Qween sigh to complete the ritual.  Drama is nothing without the sigh.  ;)