Fear

Composed on a 20-minute walk

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I have this fear; fear of failure, and it's causing a massive stagnation.  I've been really frustrated lately, with almost everything in my life.  And it struck me, as I turnt onto Bigelow St, that I don't have to be here.  I can leave.  Yes, it will be hard and will take a long period of adjustment, but if I was raised in the overtly racist South and somehow managed to survive two years here in the pseudo-Liberal Pacific NorthWest, I figure I can do it almost anywhere. I get this one lifetime--I'm not counting on conscious reincarnation--so I need to seize the opportunities that are presented.  I can do anything, because I have all the time in the world and, conversely, I have none at all.

Why should I continue to let this Fear be paralytic?  Why can't I convert this emotion into a catalyst to make me a more productive person?  I always feel that I have a finite amount of energy to dedicate to activities; this mindset is limiting.  I should.. broaden my landscape, and maybe tap into a few Black feminists for some guidance.  ;)