Affection

I was making my dinner, like five seconds ago, when I was struck by inspiration!!

I've been contemplating actions and words, which of them speaks louder, how do text messages (a mixture of words and the action of sending the words) come into play (?__?), and how I show affection to others and how I like to be shown affection.

When I want to show affection for someone, I turn to food.  I give food, I want to cook together, I want to eat with them.  I love cooking, it re-centers me and why not do something productive while chilling out (i.e. make dinner!). I'm also physically affectionate (consensually).  I like to give people little gifts, something I know they will appreciate.  Usually a food item. XP  But this got me thinking: are food and hugs and gifts really representative of my affection and love for people?  I tell them how I feel about them (friends, family, lovers), but I think a lot has to do with how the receiver interprets my words.  And also my actions... It's complicated, because I can mean something completely different than is perceived....  Something to think about for the future.

As I was chopping onions, I was thinking about how I like to be shown affection.  Hugs are ok (consensually), food is nice, gifts are nice, but they feel somewhat hollow....  I want something more.  And then it came to me and I almost dropped the food processor: time. When someone gives me their time.  Giving your self and your time to me speaks louder than a thousand gifts.  There's something about the intention of taking time away from your busy schedule and your responsibilities, when you could be doing a thousand other things, and you've chosen to be with me. It gives me an actual physical representationof my importance in your life.  I think it's something I didn't get much of as a kid, cause my parents worked super long shifts and double shifts..... Childhood rearing its ugly head. >.<

I also recognise that I'm really intentional about spending time with those I care about. Haha, I cna't believe it's taken me so long to figure it out....

Now I just have to convey this, eloquently.  -___-