Sex With Friends

I have been Pondering this topic for quite a while. And it's come up every week at SexyTime, a student club on campus where we discuss issues/concerns/joys surrounding sex in a positive manner.  But we've yet to formally discuss it.

Anyhow, Friend and I went swimming Friday evening and had an entire conversation about which of our fiends we would have sex with.  I don't know where Friend is regarding sex, but I view sex with friends as another way to express the deep affection that I do have with my friends. I remember in The Ethical Slut something about 'erotic energy' and I find that to be an interesting concept.  As I establish deeper connections to my intimate friends, it's becoming more apparent (at least in my humble opinion) exactly what 'erotic energy' is and how it feels.  I dunno if I'm at the point where I would actually act on these feelings I have towards a few of my intimate friends, but I feel it. And I find it enriches the friendship, because there's nothing being held back.  But what about society?  How does society influence how we regard friends and friendships and erotic energy that sometimes enters friendships?

I think I'm safe in saying that society does not make very much room for friends expressing their affection towards one another in a sexual fashion. The situation ends in a handful of ways: they form a long-lasting partnership; they never speak to one another again; they have awkward encounters form that point forward; they continue to have sex and gradually feelings develop.  But what about the scenario where they simply remain friends and go about their daily existence?  I haven't seen many examples of that one.  Which leads many to believe it is not possible.

But it is!! Or at least I hypothesise that it can be. I'll try it out and let you know how it goes. :)

Sense

Today as I was speaking with one of my Aries Life Partners, I mentioned how I felt pressure from two of my other Life Partners to act more strongly on another Life Partner.  Now I don't do well under pressure, particularly the external kind. It sounds and feels a bit too much like someone telling me what to do.  And I don't like people telling me what to do, especially if I'm not getting paid.  So.

But I love my LPs and I trust and value their words. So this pressure I felt, at perhaps not being assertive enough, made me second-guess my actions... I could feel myself approaching that ugly path toward Anxiety, but before I'd gone too far, I had a discussion with my Aries. She told me that my pace was the right pace for me, and that rashness was the last thing I should be thinking about.  Which was great, because that's exactly what I was (and still!!) think. But I realise how easily I am swayed by the words of those who I care for and Love.  I need to be a little more solid in my beliefs about what works for me.... Put it on the 'to-do list'.

Tell Me

This weekend I was so... focused.  I know t's been more than a couple of months since I've had that much... energy directed toward one clear, agreed-upon goal.  And my Patience...

It's as if everything has come together. My Summer of Healing and Self-Care, learning Patience, taking the time to re-evaluate what I want, who I am, the general direction I'd like to go.  It was like the most perfect soup, comprised of ingredients I'd grown and nurtured myself.

I just-- I feel really proud of myself. I can name a dozen instances throughout this beautiful weekend where I was patient, took care of myself (and others!) and just listened to the verbal and non-verbal cues of those around me.

The words I am limited to using here cannot express how t felt. So I'll just settle for a smile. :D