Personal

Ah, nothing like Coldplay get an introflection piece rolling.  There's been a shift in my universe and as a writer, the best way for me to view it comprehensively is in words. Here goes....

I think it's so interesting that upon reflection, things seem to line up and we say "Oh yeah, I totally knew that was coming."  I read somewhere that the true meaning of an event occurs when we process it in that instant, and not down the line.  Like when one is supremely happy and later we discount it by saying, "I no longer feel passionate about XYZ, so it wasn't true happiness," etc.  I can't judge my emotion of a past experience against what I feel now.  I've had experiences that colour my perception, so it will always be slightly inaccurate compared to what I truly experienced.  Just my thoughts at this late hour as I fight hard against fatigue....

I feel....  In true fashion, it's too much to properly articulate. But I do know I feel a sense of determination, to 'person up' and really invest myself.  That doesn't happen often enough.  It's a control thing, an accountability issue, and a defence mechanism.

I'm also slightly pissed, because I feel that a catalyst was involved in this change, where I prefer to operate on my own, on my own time....  Yet at the same time, I allowed the catalyst to influence my actions....  So what is really responsible for the change?  Hmm....

Yep, walking the line.  It's not either/or, but maybe it's everything and it's nothing all at once.

Alright, when the existentialism begins, that's where I end. I feel much more settled.  :D

Necesito dormir. Quiero mi cama!  Beunas noche.