I just realised that I'm having blood work done tomorrow to measure the fats in my blood.
In the last 24-hrs, I have probably consumed the equivalent of two sticks of butter.
-____-
I am jogging downtown tomorrow morning in the hopes of sloughing a few grams off my HDL. :crosses fingers:
28 February 2013
20 February 2013
The Woes of a Recovering Asshole
A is for Asshole. It's something that I have been dedicating large amounts of energy to dispelling.
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing great at being nice and polite and considerate, and then I have a moment (like just now) where I have a hissy on the bed, bombarded by questions like "Was that condescending? What that misogynistic? Am I upholding sexism?? OMG was that the best way I could have phrased that statement??!!"
And then my superEgo raises and eyebrow at me and says, "Breathe, cha. Ain't nobody got time for that. Eat this damned cookie and stfu." :throws cookie:
The woes of a recovering asshole....
Sometimes I feel like I'm doing great at being nice and polite and considerate, and then I have a moment (like just now) where I have a hissy on the bed, bombarded by questions like "Was that condescending? What that misogynistic? Am I upholding sexism?? OMG was that the best way I could have phrased that statement??!!"
And then my superEgo raises and eyebrow at me and says, "Breathe, cha. Ain't nobody got time for that. Eat this damned cookie and stfu." :throws cookie:
The woes of a recovering asshole....
19 February 2013
Jet-Lag
Ok. I have officially given up trying to wrestle my Circadian rhythm into some kind of functional pattern. I am, however, still attempting to shepherd my appetite into something that resembles my normal consumption.
I'd forgotten how easily my body can get out of whack. Trade the rain for Sun, the dampness for dryness and I manage to get just about six hours a night. -____- I'll be lucky if they can wake me when the plane lands in Seattle. I may be overcome with exhaustion.
Oh well, at least I got some bomb new shoes!!
I'd forgotten how easily my body can get out of whack. Trade the rain for Sun, the dampness for dryness and I manage to get just about six hours a night. -____- I'll be lucky if they can wake me when the plane lands in Seattle. I may be overcome with exhaustion.
Oh well, at least I got some bomb new shoes!!
13 February 2013
Pre-Flight Anxiety
It's not really the flying....
It's the double- and triple-checking to make sure I know which buses I'm taking to the airport.
It's the stress of packing most of my own food because I may not have access to the foods that I need to stay healthy.
It's the fear of packing the 'right' clothes and performing the 'right' mannerisms that will enable me to pass as a cis man, because Orlando is not a safe place for my gender expression.
It's the anxiety of not being able to find my boarding gate because the signs are not visually accessible and SeaTac airport employees are not always polite and helpful.
It's the apprehension of seeing family and old friends, and the transphobic and hurtful comments I know are going to be said--with and without harmful intent.
It's knowing the hurts of childhood and adolescence are asleep in the next room.
It's knowing the hurts of childhood and adolescence are asleep in the next room.
It's the realisation that despite my constant whining, this rainy-dreary place is more of a Home than Florida ever was.
10 February 2013
Social Cues
I feel that as of late, in my attempts to be more nice and polite, I've been missing social cues. Like, big ones that would be obvious, or so I'm told....
which begs the question: are things obvious only when we're looking for them or have seen them before or know how to recognise them? What if one knows what they look like, but there's no precedent for them?
Sometimes I just wanna stay holed up in my room playing The Sims 2.
which begs the question: are things obvious only when we're looking for them or have seen them before or know how to recognise them? What if one knows what they look like, but there's no precedent for them?
Sometimes I just wanna stay holed up in my room playing The Sims 2.
06 February 2013
Foster Parent
I have decided, or rather re-remembered, that I want to be a foster parent.
I've actually set a timeline for myself, because otherwise I'll either never do it, or do it too soon. Best to begin mentally preparing myself now. I want to start the actually process when I'm 27. Yeah, that a wide window, but I'm a Gemini--best to give myself 12 months wiggle room. Haha, which means I'm beginning now of course! :P
I researched te WA state guidelines and they seem straightforward enough. And of course that means it's overly simplifying everything. I do need three personal references though, and I have my eyes set on folks already. It really is never too soon to plan for these things.
Next I just need to find a real job and get into a real housing situation.
Stable was supposed to go after the word real in the former sentence. Real *stable job. Real *stable housing situation.
During that phase of stabilisation, I'll be figuring out which age range I'm interested in. Right now, I'm in love with 5-year olds, and that might change. I just know there will be nary a diaper in my house, I think eight years of diaper changing was enough....
But then, that might change too. :)
I've actually set a timeline for myself, because otherwise I'll either never do it, or do it too soon. Best to begin mentally preparing myself now. I want to start the actually process when I'm 27. Yeah, that a wide window, but I'm a Gemini--best to give myself 12 months wiggle room. Haha, which means I'm beginning now of course! :P
I researched te WA state guidelines and they seem straightforward enough. And of course that means it's overly simplifying everything. I do need three personal references though, and I have my eyes set on folks already. It really is never too soon to plan for these things.
Next I just need to find a real job and get into a real housing situation.
Stable was supposed to go after the word real in the former sentence. Real *stable job. Real *stable housing situation.
During that phase of stabilisation, I'll be figuring out which age range I'm interested in. Right now, I'm in love with 5-year olds, and that might change. I just know there will be nary a diaper in my house, I think eight years of diaper changing was enough....
But then, that might change too. :)